How to Break Up with Someone You’re Not “In a Relationship” With Yet


We’ve all been there. You meet someone, you are attracted to them, and you start hanging out. Then after a few dates, the chemistry just isn’t there. Let’s be real here, if you would rather watch the Bachelorette than make out…you’re just not that into him. The beginning should be the most exciting time in a new relationship, and if it isn’t…it needs to end. Rather than going through the motions and continuing down the road to couple-town, it is definitely in the best interest of both parties to cut ties sooner rather than later. It saves everyone time and minimizes hurt feelings, but it is never easy to break up with someone…especially when you aren’t even in a “real” relationship yet.

I’ve never actually had to do this before with an “almost-boyfriend” and as I am preparing to “break-up” with Philly, I have many potential scenarios going through my mind. What is the best way to do this anyway? If this was going to happen to me, what would I prefer to hear? Do you do it over a text message? In person? On the phone?The truth hurts, yet it is important to be honest and up front about things. Burning bridges is also something I want to avoid at all costs. You never know when you may run into someone at a bar or end up being reconnected in some odd way. The world is small, but Seattle is even smaller.

I’ve come up with a list of potential “lines”  and scenarios for handling this one. Those of you who have tested any of these out, feel free to chime in and let me know how it worked out on your end in the past.

1. Stop initiating conversation and ignore his text messages, phone calls, and attempts to hang out. Eventually he’ll get the picture. Or end up being crazy and show up at my building unannounced. So…probably scratch this one off the list.
2.  “I have a lot going on right now and it’s really not the best time for me to get involved with someone.” I am starting a new job on Monday…so technically it’s not a lie.
3. “I’m just not sexually attracted to you. But maybe we can be friends, you’re an awesome person!”
4. “You clearly aren’t over your ex. She’s still in ALL your profile pictures. I don’t think you’re ready to date.” Takes the blame off of me not liking him, right?
5. “I met someone else and it’s getting semi-serious.” HA…I wish.
6. “Honestly… I just don’t feel chemistry with you. It’s nothing personal, but I think it’d be best if we stop seeing each other.”  The truth. It doesn’t sound nice, but it’s honest.

Wish me luck.

❤ J

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